A CONVERSATIONAL STYLE
If you are looking for a conventional therapist that sits back and speaks infrequently; we are not a match. I am intense and involved, treating each session as an important meeting with goals and an agenda.
ACTIVE LISTENING
Although I have an active conversational style, I do plenty of listening. I just tend to give more feedback and ask more questions than a typical therapist. I guess you could more accurately describe me as an "active listener". I want to be clear that this does not mean that I give advice or talk about myself. That is not therapy.
PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL
I take privacy and confidentiality very seriously. A cornerstone of good therapy is the understanding that whatever is talked about in session stays private.
EFFECTIVE AND INVOLVED
I am especially involved and directive while working with couples. I have found that couples don't get better with a passive referee therapist, they get better with an experienced and intense coach that pushes for improvement.
THERAPY FOR COUPLES
My approach to couples counseling is based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT helps you join together as a couple to do battle against the negative cycles that pull you apart. It turns out that the well-being of your primary relationship is a crucial component to your overall sense of well-being. For this reason, EFT focuses on strengthening the emotional bond between you and your partner. This closeness is accomplished through a series of interventions that remove blame, criticism, and defensiveness from your emotional toolbox. Read a more detailed description of my approach to relationship counseling here.
PSYCHO-DYNAMIC THERAPY AND INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS
I practice directive psychotherapy with the goal of using my training and experience to help you uncover useful solutions. My approach to individual counseling and psychotherapy is based on the theory of Psycho-Dynamic Psychology, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), and Internal Family Systems theory. These theories come with the understanding that all of our past experiences affect the way you live and feel today. By answering the question of why you are the way you are, we can begin to bring about change in your life today. By exploring how your personal history affects how you feel today, we will discover insights and bring new awareness to the changes you want to make in your life.
HOW DO I GET STARTED
You can contact me and I will get back to you by the end of the next business day. Feel free to read more of my thoughts on counseling on my blog. You can learn more about being a client in counseling or read my thoughts on choosing a therapist. You can also leave me a voicemail any time with questions or concerns you might have. If you need to talk to someone right away, I often have same day appointments.
DO I NEED A THERAPIST?
I believe that almost everybody could benefit from some form of counseling. We all could use a quiet, safe, and confidential place to explore the tumultuous events of life. Most people usually seek therapy only after an issue has become truly serious. It is the same reason that people generally do not go to the doctor when they feel healthy. This opinion is beginning to change however; as medical professionals realize that preventative care plays a crucial part in healthy living. With this in mind, I suggest that everybody should create a relationship with a counselor so as to be prepared for the inevitable challenges of life. It is crucial to have a counseling relationship in place for when things might break down and require more serious attention.
DOES THERAPY WORK?
Yes, but how? Well, let me relate a proverb that might bring clarity to this question. If you want to know how the water is, do not ask the fish. Fish are entirely underwater throughout their lifetime, leaving them with less perspective as to the comfort of their surroundings. It is simply all they know. In contrast, as people, we can dip our toes into the ocean and rather quickly assess, "That is too cold." It is our outside perspective and ability to compare the water and the air that helps us determine how the water is.
My impression is that therapy works in a similar way. You are surrounded by your own life, living in it, in such a way that sometimes it can be difficult to think and feel beyond the confines of your own world. Put simply, you are the fish in your own life's waters, and I am here to dip my toe in and help you understand your situation from a different, objective perspective; add in an altruistic goal of making your life more satisfying, and you have therapy.
HOW TO BE A CLIENT
Being a client is relatively straightforward. You show up on time each week, you speak openly and honestly about your problems, and try to reflect on the feedback and interpretations that I provide. The most important qualities for you to focus on are honesty, consistency, and patience. This may seem simple or daunting depending on your personality type but most people are able to make it work and get a lot out of therapy with me.
PATIENCE
A counselor needs time to get to know you in order to develop a working relationship such that progress and change can occur. As you well know, it takes time to warm up to people and get to know them deeply enough to "get them". Therapists that start "doing" therapy too quickly without taking the time to listen can leave you feeling judged or misunderstood. Changing your life and your way of being in the world takes time because the foundation and framework for who you are has been solidifying since the day you were born. Altering thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that have been around for this long occurs slowly but noticeably.
HONESTY
One of the cornerstones of effective psychotherapy is the confidential relationship between client and therapist that encourages deep and sometimes painful honesty. Honesty is a quality that many people strive to embrace, however; revealing private thoughts and secrets can be embarrassing or scary. In therapy, you are the guide and you have to make sure that you begin by talking about topics that you feel comfortable sharing. Being honest with ourselves is the first step to being honest with others.
CONSISTENCY
It may seem obvious to point out that consistent attendance is crucial to effective therapy. It is your time and money that you are investing in your therapy and if you want to have the maximum effectiveness of your work, you have to come on-time every week and do your best to think about the session throughout the week. Just like when your doctor points out that if you miss a pill, it lowers the overall effectiveness of the treatment program, so too goes your therapy. Missed sessions lead to more time being used on current events and less time for change-oriented therapy.
FEEDBACK
Another important facet to therapy is your ability to give feedback to your counselor. Feel free to bring your concerns to me even if you want to talk about the effectiveness of the counseling or feel that you want to stop. Most counselors should welcome your feedback and work with you in a collaborative way to improve your therapy. Remember, it is your time and it is your counseling.
So, in summary, come to therapy each week and try to be honest. Then patiently give feedback until you feel that you are getting what you want out of your therapy.
I can also provide referrals to psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, therapists, counseling centers, support groups, or social workers in Santa Monica or the greater Los Angeles area.
I am here to help.
- Jeffrey
If you are looking for a conventional therapist that sits back and speaks infrequently; we are not a match. I am intense and involved, treating each session as an important meeting with goals and an agenda.
ACTIVE LISTENING
Although I have an active conversational style, I do plenty of listening. I just tend to give more feedback and ask more questions than a typical therapist. I guess you could more accurately describe me as an "active listener". I want to be clear that this does not mean that I give advice or talk about myself. That is not therapy.
PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL
I take privacy and confidentiality very seriously. A cornerstone of good therapy is the understanding that whatever is talked about in session stays private.
EFFECTIVE AND INVOLVED
I am especially involved and directive while working with couples. I have found that couples don't get better with a passive referee therapist, they get better with an experienced and intense coach that pushes for improvement.
THERAPY FOR COUPLES
My approach to couples counseling is based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT helps you join together as a couple to do battle against the negative cycles that pull you apart. It turns out that the well-being of your primary relationship is a crucial component to your overall sense of well-being. For this reason, EFT focuses on strengthening the emotional bond between you and your partner. This closeness is accomplished through a series of interventions that remove blame, criticism, and defensiveness from your emotional toolbox. Read a more detailed description of my approach to relationship counseling here.
PSYCHO-DYNAMIC THERAPY AND INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS
I practice directive psychotherapy with the goal of using my training and experience to help you uncover useful solutions. My approach to individual counseling and psychotherapy is based on the theory of Psycho-Dynamic Psychology, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), and Internal Family Systems theory. These theories come with the understanding that all of our past experiences affect the way you live and feel today. By answering the question of why you are the way you are, we can begin to bring about change in your life today. By exploring how your personal history affects how you feel today, we will discover insights and bring new awareness to the changes you want to make in your life.
HOW DO I GET STARTED
You can contact me and I will get back to you by the end of the next business day. Feel free to read more of my thoughts on counseling on my blog. You can learn more about being a client in counseling or read my thoughts on choosing a therapist. You can also leave me a voicemail any time with questions or concerns you might have. If you need to talk to someone right away, I often have same day appointments.
DO I NEED A THERAPIST?
I believe that almost everybody could benefit from some form of counseling. We all could use a quiet, safe, and confidential place to explore the tumultuous events of life. Most people usually seek therapy only after an issue has become truly serious. It is the same reason that people generally do not go to the doctor when they feel healthy. This opinion is beginning to change however; as medical professionals realize that preventative care plays a crucial part in healthy living. With this in mind, I suggest that everybody should create a relationship with a counselor so as to be prepared for the inevitable challenges of life. It is crucial to have a counseling relationship in place for when things might break down and require more serious attention.
DOES THERAPY WORK?
Yes, but how? Well, let me relate a proverb that might bring clarity to this question. If you want to know how the water is, do not ask the fish. Fish are entirely underwater throughout their lifetime, leaving them with less perspective as to the comfort of their surroundings. It is simply all they know. In contrast, as people, we can dip our toes into the ocean and rather quickly assess, "That is too cold." It is our outside perspective and ability to compare the water and the air that helps us determine how the water is.
My impression is that therapy works in a similar way. You are surrounded by your own life, living in it, in such a way that sometimes it can be difficult to think and feel beyond the confines of your own world. Put simply, you are the fish in your own life's waters, and I am here to dip my toe in and help you understand your situation from a different, objective perspective; add in an altruistic goal of making your life more satisfying, and you have therapy.
HOW TO BE A CLIENT
Being a client is relatively straightforward. You show up on time each week, you speak openly and honestly about your problems, and try to reflect on the feedback and interpretations that I provide. The most important qualities for you to focus on are honesty, consistency, and patience. This may seem simple or daunting depending on your personality type but most people are able to make it work and get a lot out of therapy with me.
PATIENCE
A counselor needs time to get to know you in order to develop a working relationship such that progress and change can occur. As you well know, it takes time to warm up to people and get to know them deeply enough to "get them". Therapists that start "doing" therapy too quickly without taking the time to listen can leave you feeling judged or misunderstood. Changing your life and your way of being in the world takes time because the foundation and framework for who you are has been solidifying since the day you were born. Altering thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that have been around for this long occurs slowly but noticeably.
HONESTY
One of the cornerstones of effective psychotherapy is the confidential relationship between client and therapist that encourages deep and sometimes painful honesty. Honesty is a quality that many people strive to embrace, however; revealing private thoughts and secrets can be embarrassing or scary. In therapy, you are the guide and you have to make sure that you begin by talking about topics that you feel comfortable sharing. Being honest with ourselves is the first step to being honest with others.
CONSISTENCY
It may seem obvious to point out that consistent attendance is crucial to effective therapy. It is your time and money that you are investing in your therapy and if you want to have the maximum effectiveness of your work, you have to come on-time every week and do your best to think about the session throughout the week. Just like when your doctor points out that if you miss a pill, it lowers the overall effectiveness of the treatment program, so too goes your therapy. Missed sessions lead to more time being used on current events and less time for change-oriented therapy.
FEEDBACK
Another important facet to therapy is your ability to give feedback to your counselor. Feel free to bring your concerns to me even if you want to talk about the effectiveness of the counseling or feel that you want to stop. Most counselors should welcome your feedback and work with you in a collaborative way to improve your therapy. Remember, it is your time and it is your counseling.
So, in summary, come to therapy each week and try to be honest. Then patiently give feedback until you feel that you are getting what you want out of your therapy.
I can also provide referrals to psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, therapists, counseling centers, support groups, or social workers in Santa Monica or the greater Los Angeles area.
I am here to help.
- Jeffrey